What The Soul Wants
by hoa1fan
Summary: I dont know what to do. Everyone Has left me and I am all alone. Even Fabian doesn't talk to me. I thought he was my friend. I guess I was wrong. My life is spinning out of control. Rated T just in case.
1. What to do?

**Disclaimer: I do not own House of Anubis :( **

**

* * *

******

Nina's pov

Sometimes I wish i had a parents around to give me advice. I really miss them. When Joy returned everyone seemed to forget about me. They even moved me into the closet so Joy and Patrica could have a room together. Now i am all alone. I don't know what to do. Nobody cares about mom would know what to do. I decide to write a letter to my Gram maybe she would know what to do. I gab a piece of paper and a pen and start to write.

* * *

_Dear Gram,_

_How's life in America. My life isn't going to well. All my friends Forgot about me. It's like I never came to this stupid school. Even Fabian forgot about me. I thought he was my friend. I guess i was wrong. I miss you so much. I also am realy missing Mom and Dad. Sometimes i wish i could she them. I know they are in a world without pain. I wish I lived in a world without pain. I don't know what i should do. I feel so alone, scared and confused. If something happens to me Just rember that i love you. _

_Love,_

_Nina _

_

* * *

_

I put the letter on my desk and lay down to think. Tears start to roll down my cheeks. I wish I could see my Mom and my Dad. After about a hour of crying I get up and go down stairs. Everyone is in the living room having a good time. Everyone's eyes are staring at me, except Joy's and Fabian's. They are making out on the couch. Tears fill my eyes and I run out the door. I ran as far as my legs could take me. Of course my legs took me to the library. I sat down and read a couple of books. I thought about what i should do. I finally made my decision. I knew it wasn't going to be pretty.

* * *

**So what do you think? Should i continue or should i burn it? Also what is Nina going to do? Also what does she mean when she says "If anything happens to me just rember i love you?" Also what does she mean "It wasn't going to be pretty." Well i guess you will haft to wait and find out. Sorry if it is short. If you guys like it then the next one will be longer. I have big plans for this story.**


	2. Feeling Alone

**Disclamer: I do not own HOA :( **

I finnaly decide what to do. I ran to the house and up to my room. I decide I will be better off with my parents and Sara. They will take care of me. I bet nobody will know I am gone. Fabian and Amber have completly forgot about me and they were my best friends. I dont realy hang out with anyone else so they wont notice.

I walk through the house one last time. I go up to the attic to look at picutes from the mystery. Tears run down my face as I see all of the sibuna members having a good time. I hope that they understand why I am leaving this world. I relize that it would be rude not to say goodbye. I sit down and write a letter to everyone. Each person gets there own personal letter.

I put the letters on everyones beds and put my plan in action. I know Victor loves to hunt so lets just say I know where he hides his weapon of choice. I grab his gun and walk down stairs. I stand in the main room and get ready to pull the trigure. Then a boys voice stops me in my tracks  
"Nina, What are you doing," Fabian says. Everyone is standing behind him with there mouths open.

"I want to leave!" I yell and run to my room with the gun.

"NINA! STOP!" Fabian yells and runs after me with everyone following him. I sit down in front of my door so nobody could get in. So many emotions are going through my head. I couldnt bring my self to pull the trigure. I drop the gun and run onto my bed. As soon as I move out form in front of the door everyone comes in. Before anyone has time to process there emotions I grab a knife I keep under my bed. I put it up to my neck.

**Hee hee (evil grin) I know you guys might hate me. So, will Nina die? Will she acully cut her self? What did Nina write in here letters to her friends? Find out next time.**

**Also i would like to thank everyone that reviewed. YOU GUYS ROCK!**


	3. Letters From the Soul

**Sorry is Nina is a little OOC, but isn't that what fanfictions are for? also I do not own HOA :(****

* * *

**

Fabian's pov:

Nina puts the knife to her neck. I knew i had to stop her. Before i had time to think i ran up and tried to grab the knife. She wouldn't let go.

"Nina! Let go!" I yell.

"No!" Nina screams.

I finally got it away from her but in the process she cut her cheek. She puts her hand to her cheek and when she took it away a pool of blood sat in her hand.

"Nina," I say "I am so sorry." She didn't answer me because the next thing I know she passed out.

"Trudy call 911!" I yell. Everyone is just standing behind me with there mouths open. nobody could believe what just happened. It felt like time was moving very slowly. It took about 5 minutes for the ambulance to get there but it felt like it took a year. As soon as Nina was taken away everyone went to there room. When i got to my room i saw a letter on my bed. I picked up the letter and went into the living room with it. Everyone was already there.

"Did you get one too." Amber said through her tears.

"Yes, Did you guys open yours" I say

"No we where going to read them out loud. Are you ok with that?" Mick says

"Sure. Who wants to go first."

"I will" Amber says.

* * *

"_Dear Amber,_

_How are you doing? I know you are probably crying because i am gone but don't. I am happy. I am with my parents and Sara. Don't be sad. I want you to just forget about me, but it seems like you already have so it can't be that hard. I think I will miss you the most. You where so much fun to hang out with. You are my best friend. I'm glad I got to share a room with you. I hope you understand and goodbye Amber ._

_Love,_

_Nina"_

Tears run down every ones cheeks. Even Jerome is crying.

"I will go now" Mara says through her tears.

* * *

"_Dear Mara,_

_I know I didn't get to hang out with you that much but it was fun to hang out with you when i had the chance. Life has been to complected. I hope you understand. You are one of the sweetest and smartest person I have ever met. I know you will go far in life. I bet you will be the first female president. Never give up and goodbye._

_Love,_

_Nina"_

_

* * *

_

"My turn." Patricia says.

__

_"Dear Patricia,_

_I know we didn't get off on the right foot at first, but once we got to know each other I was happy we where friends. It was fun helping each other find Joy. Take care of Amber for me. I she is most likely crying her eyes out. I don't blame her. If Amber did the same thing I did i would be crying my eyes out to. Anyway it was great being friends with you while it lasted and goodbye. _

_Love,_

_Nina"_

_

* * *

_

____

"I guess it is my turn." Mick says.

* * *

_"Dear Mick,_

_How are you doing? I bet you are eating something as you read this. I know we didn't hang out that often but when we did it was fun. I know Fabian is your best friend so help him to forget about me. I dont think it will be to hard because I know sense Joy returned he has forgotten about me. Anyway I know you will be an athlete some day. Have fun and goodbye Mick._

_Love,_

_Nina"_

_

* * *

_

__

"Well i guess it is my turn" Alfie says.

* * *

_" Dear Alfie,_

_I bet as you are reading this you are trying to think of a way to cheer everyone up. You the best at cheering people up. You are the funniest person I have ever met. Don't every stop making jokes and playing pranks. Even though sometimes we might get mad at you when we look back at your pranks they make me laugh. Please help everyone forget about me by doing what you do best. Making people laugh. Goodbye Alfie._

_Love,_

_Nina"_

_

* * *

_

__

"Well Fabian do you want to go first or should I" Jerome says.

"You can go first." I say.

"Fine." Jerome says.

* * *

_"Dear Jerome,_

_Even though you can be a pain in the neck it was still nice to hang out with you. Even though you did back stab us once or twice I forgive you. I hope you will figure out how to tell if someone is evil or not. I belive you are not evil. I think deep down you care and i think you need to show it more. Goodbye Jerome._

_Love,_

_Nina"_

_

* * *

_

__

"Well Fabian I guess you are the only one left. For some reason Joy didn't get one."

"Ok" I say through his tears. I slowly open my letter. Inside I found Nina's eye of horus necklace. I looked inside and saw Sara's picture. It looked alot like Nina. I started to feel tears escape my eyes. Then I pick up my letter and start to read.

_"Dear Fabian,_

_You where mt best friend. When everyone thought Victor was helping Joy you didn't give up on me. I wish when I need you the most you wouldn't have given up on me. Well what is done is done. I hope you can just forget about me. It shouldn't be to hard because it seems like you already did. I just wanted to goodbye and that i have and always will love you. I now you like Joy but i just wanted let you know. Goodbye Fabian. I love you._

_Love,_

_Nina"_

I stood there with my jaw on the floor. I couldn't believe she loved me.

**Wow that was a long chapter. This took me hours to type. I kept getting writers block. I wanted to put all the letters into one chapter. So how will Nina react when she finds out that Fabain know she loves him? How will Joy and Fabian react? Also how is Nina doing in the hospital? I will try to update tomorrow but Monday through Friday i have testing ( stupid school ) and i might not be able to update. **


	4. Author's Note

**Hi everyone I am sooooooooooooo sorry that I haven't updated in forever. I have had state tests, after school activties, band practice and two projects. I have been very busy. I hope you understand I will try to update tommarow. I have a bad case of writers block. **


	5. Wishing For No More Pain

**I do not own Hoa :( Also I am sorry about spelling I am not the best speller. Sometimes spell check doesnt catch my mistakes. Also thanks to everyone who has reviewed. It realy means alot to me. Ok I have talked enough so lets go on with the story.**

**Fabian's pov:**

I run strait into my room. I didnt want anyone to see me crying. I flop down onto my bed and burst into tears. Then I hear a knock on my door.

"GO AWAY!" I yell through my tears.

"Its Joy. Can I come in?" She say sweetly.

"What do you want?" I say harshly.

"I want to ask you one question. Are you ok with that?"

"Fine. What do you want to know?"

"Why are you crying over this girl?"

"Dont you get it? We where best friends. We solved the mystery togeather. We even went to prom together. Whouldn't you cry if Patrisha died. Well it is the same thing with me and Nina. She is my best friend."

"Honestly I think she is just jealous. I think she wanted you to feel guilty just so you and her could be togeather."

"STOP LYING!" I yell. "SHE WHOULDN'T DO THAT SHE IS TO KIND AND SWEET!"

"Open up your eyes Fabian. She just wants to get noticed."

"Joy." I say sweetly.

"Yes." Joy says smiling.

"I HATE YOU!" I yell and then run out of my room and out of the door.

**Nina's pov:**

Im sitting in my hospital bed with nothing to do. I have a couple stiches on my cheek. I just want to go home. They wont let me leave. they still think I am crazy.

"Hey. How are you doing?" A sweet boys voice. I turned around and saw it was Fabian. I am not in the mood to talk to any so I defently dont want to talk to him. He sits down on the farest chair from my bed.

"Im not in the mood to talk right now," I say.

"Please I have some questions."

"Fine," I say harshly.

"First of all why did you do this?" He says sweetly. He has no idea of my dark past. He knew my parents died in a car crash but that was it. There was more to the story. Tears escape my eyes. I could tell by the look on his face that he was confused. Fabian is my best friend. I can trust him.

"Fabian there's more to me then meets the eye."

"What do you mean?"

"My parents where never in a car crash. When I was only a day old I was abandoned. I was left in the middle of the forrest with nothing but the clothes on my back." I say through my tears. "I have been in foster care all my life. I always whould run away from all my foster families. It was my way of running away from the pain. Then one day I found this little old lady. She took me in. I call her Gran because she is old enough to be my Grandma. I have felt like my whole life nobody wanted me. When you guys forgot about me all thoughs feelings returned. I just couldn't deal with it anymore." Tears run down my face. I looked at Fabian and he had tears running down his face. "Fabian can you please leave?"

"Nina, I am so sorry to hear that." He says and walks to me. He pulls me into a hug and I cry into his chest. "I love you too."

"What?" I say.

"Your note said that you loved me." He says nervously. "I got to go bye."

He runs out the door. I am all alone. I dont know what to do. I know he only said he loved me because he feels sorry for me. I am alone and I cant deal with the pain. I just want it all to stop.

**Joy's pov:**

Fabian comes home with tears running down his cheeks. I wonder what that jealose Nina said to him this time.

"Fabes," I say sweetly, "What's wrong?"

"Just something Nina said to me." He says sadly.

"Why do you even listen to her?" I ask angerly.

"Because she is my bestfriend."

"I thought I was your best friend. I am your girlfriend. Right? Unless you still hate me."

"I don't know anymore." He says sadly. Then a tear escapes from his eyes. "My life is falling apart and I don't know anything anymore. I thought I knew all of Nina's secrets. I thought that she could get through anything. I thought I was her best friend, but when she need me most I abandoned her. I dont know if I can trust anyone anymore or if I can trust myself."

"Fabes you just need to forget about her. She is just trying to get inbetween us. I think she is making it all up. You just need to forget about her and move on. She was the past and I am the present."

"You know what Joy. You and me are over. I love Nina. Not you. You dont understand me like Nina does." Then the phone rings and Fabian picks up the phone. Then he drops the phone on the floor and his Jaw drops.

"Fabian what's wrong?" I say neversly.

"Nina ran away from the hospitle." He says through his tears.

** Sorry that it took so long for me to update. I have had no time to do anything. Then my computer broke. I have been very busy. I am most likely going to update tomarrow**. **So where did Nina go? What is Fabian going to do about Nina running away? Also what is Joy going to do about Fabian breaking up with her? I guess we will find out next time.**


	6. Running Away From The Pain

**I don't own hoa (sadly) :(**

**

* * *

****Nina's pov:**

I jump into a rental car and start to drive. I'm not sure where I am going. I just keep on driving. Finally I reach a cliff. I get out of the car and lay down. I stare up at the stars. There is something peaceful about it all. I feel like I don't have to keep any secrets.

"Nina?" I hear a sweet boys voice say. I turn around and she that it is Fabian. He looks so cute in the moon light.

"How did you know I was here?" I ask

"I didn't I always come here to think. Why are you here? I need to get you back to the hospital."

"I am not going back."

"But Nina you have to. I am only trying to help you."

"You don't understand Fabian."

"I cant understand if you wont let me into your heart."

"Fabian I cant deal with the pain anymore. My life is falling apart and I don't know what to do. I love you Fabian, but this is all to much for me."

"Nina please dont do this." I pull him into a kiss. We kiss romanticly under the moonlight for a long time. "Nina I love you too much to let you do this. If you jump I will too."

"No Fabian. You have so much to live for. I don't. Nobody would care if I was gone."

"I would miss you." He says through his tears. To tell you the truth we are both crying.

"Goodbye Fabian I will love you always." Then I jump of the cliff.

"NOOOOOO!" Fabian yells and grabs my wrists before I fall to me death. I am now hanging off the side of the cliff. " I WILL NOT LET YOU DO THIS!"

"FABIAN LET GO!" I yell. Then he pulls me back up. He will not let me go.

"Nina, listen to me. You are the love of my life if you die it will be like a part of me has died. Please don't do this." He says through his tears.

"But I cant go back." I say through my tears. "They will send me right back to the Hospitle. I hate people treating me like I am crazy. I am not crazy. I am just trying to make all the pain stop." He then pulls me into a hug and I cry into his chest.

"I know how you feel. When I was little my parents got divorce and I ran away from home to escape the pain. I walked and walked until I made it to this cliff. Then I jumped off. As you can see I didn't died. I broke one of my arms, one of my legs and two of my ribs. That's why I always go here to think. I had to go through a couple years of therapy and then they let me go. But sometimes I feel like you do. I feel confused, alone and depressed and I now you do too. So please don't do this."

"What am I suppose to do?"

"Come back to Anubis house with me. I promise nobody will take you back to the hospital."

"I just cant Fabian. There are to many bad memories there."

"But there are alot of good memories there too." He grabs my hands, but I pull away.

"Fabian I just cant take it anymore. I cant take being rejected anymore. If I go back they will most likely send me back to the hospital, Send me to an asylum, or lock me in my room for the rest of my life."

"Nina please dont do this" He pulls me into a kiss. This time I dont pull away."I love you."

"I love you too. I always have and always will." He pulls me into a kiss. We stand there under the moonlight holding hands. We get into the back sit of his car and kiss for a couple more minutes. Then it turned into something more. It was like time had stopped. It was like we where the only two people on this earth. We didnt think about the consequences from are actions. All we thought about was each other.

* * *

**Nina and Fabian are becoming closer. So what will happen next? I am not even sure. I guess we will have to find out. I will most likely update later today or tomorrow. As soon as I start to type up my story I cant stop. I just keep getting new ideas. Thank you to everyone that has reviewed. YOU GUYS ROCK! I have the best fans :) P.S. If you don't know what an Asylum is a hospital for mentally incompetent or unbalanced people.  
**


	7. Finding Courage

**I (sadly) dont own hoa :(**

* * *

**Nina's Pov:**

We finaly get back to the house. I run straight to my room and didn't say a word to Fabian. I flop down onto my bed. Tears started to run down my cheeks. I put my face up to my pillow so nobody can hear me. Part of me is happy Fabian stopped me from jumping off of the cliff, but part of me feels like I am a burden, and it would be better if I had just jumped off. I have no family and no friends. Fabian only loves me because he feels sorry for me.

I snuggle up into my blanket. I feel safe and secure when I am rapped in my blanket. It is like nothing can hurt me. I am afraid of falling asleep. I don't want the next day to come. Unfortunately my eyes become heavy and I fall asleep. The next thing I know it is morning. Nobody knows I am here but Fabian. I stay in my bed and read a book. Then I note slides under my door. I slowly get off of my bed. I grab the note and sit back down on my bed. I notice the hand writing right away. I knew it was from Fabian.

* * *

_Dear Nina, _

_I promise I wont tell anyone that you are here. I know you need your space. When you are ready to face the world again I will be right by your side. I will always be by your side._

_Love always,_

_Fabian_

* * *

I rip up the note and threw it away. Tears are running down my cheeks. I don't want him worried about me. I don't want to keep him from living his life. I finally decide to leave my room. I knew sooner or later they where going to find out. I heard Trudy yell for everyone to come down for supper. I took in a deep breath and cleared all my thoughts from my mind. I walk haft way down the steps and sat down. I wanted to know how they were feeling. If they where really missed me they would look upset, but, just as I expected, they where laughing and having a good time. Then all of the sudden the room got silent.

"Any luck finding Nina today" Amber asked Fabian

"N-N-No" He stuttered

"Fabian, you are stuttering. Are you hiding something form us?" Mara asked.

"No" He sneaked a look up to my room and sees me sitting on the steps. A small smile escapes from his lips.

I hated seeing Fabian lie for me. I try to get off the step. My mind says get up, but my legs say don't move. I finally get enough courage to walk down the stairs. Part of me wants to see my friends. The other part of me wants to not face the world and to hide for the rest of my life. I know that sooner or later I will have to face the world again. I guess sooner is better then later.

I start to walk down the stairs. My heart is beating out of my chest. Thousands of questions are going through my head. How will they react? Will they treat me different? Do they hate? Will everything go back to normal?My are interrupted by the sound of someones voice.

"Nina?"

* * *

**Sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I have been very busy. Now that all of my after school activities are starting to end I will have more time :) Thanks to everyone that reviews my story. It means a lot to me. I have the best fans. YOU GUYS ROCK! I promise there will be more drama soon. Please dont stop review and please be honest. I realy want your opinon.**


	8. Author's note 2

**Please go to my poll on my profile called " Should i countinue my story Want The Soul Wants?" I feel like it is going no were. my last chapter got 2 reviews (THANK YOU TO SCARLETGRACE45 AND STARSHINE555! THEY WHERE MY ONLY TWO REVIEWS OF MY LAST CHAPTER! YOU TWO ROCK!) Anyway the poll will be open for one week. I have to get more then ten votes or i am going to quit it or if i get alot more nos i will quit it. so please vote if you want me to keep writing.**


	9. end sorry

**Sorry I am quiting my story. I have lost all inspration to write What The Soul Wants. Im writing a new story now and it has nothing to do with any tv show so i wont put it up on here. I could say it is a House of Anubis story but I dont think many people whould like it. It is a very deppresing story. I will make a poll and if I get more then ten yesses I will put up my new story but I am ending this one. I am sorry :( I love all my fans but i think this story is a failure but oh well it was worth the try. Bye fanfiction peeps :(**

**-Hoa1fan/Kelly**


	10. vote

**My poll is up so please vote it will be up for one week or two so please vote. I know you want to. Click my name (hoa1fan) and vote. DO IT! DO IT NOW! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO! ;)**


	11. My Real Family The real ending

**I guess my fans at least deserve to have an ending so here it goes. Im sorry if it is a little bit dissapointing but I realy think this story sucks and that I should just give up writing all togeather, but I do have one story locked away in my computer files that my fans have said they want me to post. The problom with that story is that it is not a fanfic. Im not sure if i can post it. Do you guys think I can or will I get in trouble? At the end of this chapter/story I will post every single person that has review so look at the authors note at the bottom of the chapter when you finish reading. Thanks :) **

** Nina's Pov:**

"Nina?" sombody said.

I looked over at everone and slowly nod my head. The next thing I know a blob of pink is running towards me.

"Nina!" Amber squeals. She grabs be and pulls me into a death grip. I dont blame her. I bet she doesnt want be to ever live agian, "Where have you been?"

"Thats not important right now. At least I am home." I say with tears running down my cheeks. Everyone but Joy runs over to see me, but nobody says anything. We all go into a group hug. Nobody wants to let go. We all want this moment to last forever. We are all crying. Even Jerome was crying. We are all a family. This is the first time I felt like someone loved me since Gran died. Unfortantly Joy come over.

"Come on you guys. It's just Nina. Its not like it anyone inportant."

"She is too important to us," Amber yelled.

"Joy right now you dont matter!" Fabian yelled. I have never seen him so angry. " Cant you just relize that the world doesnt revolve around you!"

Joy runs out of the room and the rest of us sit in the livingroom. Nobody says anything finnaly I brake the silence.

"Well I have something to say." Everyone looks at me with sad eyes. I think they all know that what im about to say cant be good.

"Im moving back to America."

"WHAT!" everyone yells.

"I need to get away for a while. I cant deal with the presure. Im staying in a apartment. Im going back to public school and im going to start my life over."

"Nina you cant go." Fabian said.

"Why cant I"

"Because we are all family. What kind of family whould we be of we let the one we love get in trouble." Tears start to run down everyones cheeks. "I know that we abandoned you just like your parents did. But we still love you and I bet your parents still love you too. So dont leave."

"Ok, I will stay."

**5 years later**

I finshed my highschool days with Anubis housemates. Me and Fabian fell in love and got married. Now we have 3 wonderful children and have one on the way. Amber and Alfie got Married and have 2. Mara and Jerome are happily engaged. Mick and Patracia keep in touch but im not sure where they are today

I went through my whole life with no family and now I cant belive I have the best family in the world. I went through my whole life thinking I was not good enough for love. I thought that nobody could ever love me. Well I was wrong. I had a great family that loved me all along. There name is the Anubis gang.

**I think the ending wasnt that bad. Thanks to everone that has read my story. Thank you Rockets Love, smoudy97, DarkBlueDiamond, waffles12, x-RavenclawGirl-x, fabeslover99, maddylove10, Catlover10808, Acfprincess, motermouth28, Fabinaisawsome, Snow Amuletta, rosie-sibuna, kittykatkitkat, slcswimmer14, E.N. Braken, Hello Kitty 12345679, ScarletGrace45, ANUBIAN-ROMANCE, Princess Fafa, rducky, lily lupin1, xforeverlovex21, AutumnReign, I x3 Andy sixx, syrahsyara, HouseOfAnubisGirlxFabiana, Starshine555, AnaandZoe4life, RainSummers, TICKLES3000, 2theleftx2, MiaAndOak, ilovehoa123, MysteryWriter54321, GUYANAGAL404, josik and all my readers. I have the best fans. LOVE YA ALL!**

** -Hoa1fan/Kelly**


	12. IMPORTANT PLEASE READ!

**I am posting my new story on please go check it out. My pen name is: My Life In Words. The name of the story is: The Walls And Scars Around My Heart. Its a great story. I you loved my fanfic you will love this story. It is way better then this story. Here is the introduction:**

* * *

How could you!" I yell.

"I was just trying to help. Im sorry," Brooke said softly. She wouldnt look into my eyes. I dont blame her. If I was in her position I probly whouldn't look into my eyes.

"Out of all the people in the world I thought I could trust you." I say angerly.

"You can trust me."

"I wish I had never meet you!" I yelled and with that I run away. I didnt look back. I couldnt stand to see the heartbrake in her eyes. I run Into the school's bathroom and lock my self in the stall with tears down my cheeks. I hear someone out side the stall, but I block out all sound around me. I grab a pair of scissors from my bookbag and place it on top of my wrist. I take a deep breath and quickly slice my wrists. Blood is trickling down my fingers and down my arms. Then I feel a peacefulness and a black cloud surrounds me.

* * *

**Thats all im going to give ya for now ;) It wont be up until tommarow because I just made my account yesterday and I have to wait 2 days before I can post a story so it should be up tommarow. This story is not about me. I = alex who is a 16 year old boy. Im not 16 and im not a boy so its not about me. Also this isnt where the story starts this is just a intro. So far im on chapter four and I have writers block :( but I have time :) I hope you guys read my story on **


End file.
